Has the Sex in Your Marriage Gone Stale?
Once upon a time, you could barely keep your hands off each other. Red lights didn’t last long enough to complete the soulful kiss. Just the anticipation of being together was mind-boggling.
But over time, getting together became just another item on the to-do list. Can you spice up a stale marriage? Of course you can if you’re both willing to turn up the heat. You’ve allowed too much of life’s issues to crowd out your enthusiasm for the relationship.
Work stress, commuting, finances, children or career disappointment can be the slippery step to pushing relationship to the back of the line of priorities. You have to agree to make time for one another.
That means private, uninterrupted time. To get back on track, you may have to take a long weekend away from home, phones and other distractions. Check in at a romantic bed and breakfast where there isn’t much else to do besides hang out together.
Or reserve the honeymoon suite at a hotel somewhere in the country and don’t open the door except for room service. Part of your relationship rut came from too many demands and too little alone time, so change that for the weekend.
Getting back in touch with each other in an “away from it all” environment lets you focus on being together. Consider scheduling a couples’ massage in a romantic location. The relaxation and comfort, not to mention those plush bathrobes, can give you new ideas after returning to your room. Or buy massage oil and give a massage to each other.
Before leaving your weekend getaway, go out for coffee and calmly discuss some of the routines that have deepened the relationship rut. You want to make sure to avoid repeating those when you return.
One biggie is a television or computer in the bedroom. Turn off the electronics if you want to turn on your partner. Once you get home, there’s a risk that you’ll get wrapped up in the busy routine whiles sex goes back to a “passing in the night” experience.
You have to agree to take time for each other. A regular weekly date night is important, even if you just go out to dinner. It’s part of reconnecting as a couple and feeling that your relationship deserves nurturing.
You may not be able to take vacations alone when you have children. But you can sneak away for a weekend periodically. Consider it marriage insurance - the best way to keep your relationship alive and strengthen your bond.