Grace Chatting

One of the great Relationship Masters, John Gottman and his wife did an extensive study of what made  marriage relationships successful; looking at those couples who stayed together and made their marriages work.

They found that they could predict with 96% accuracy which couples would break up. The looked for patterns that separated the Masters from the Disasters.

The Disasters had these traits in common, they blamed each other and became defensive, and presented themselves as a Victim. They were critical of their partner whilst seeing themselves as superior and talked down to the other in a contemptuous way, or they would Stonewall them, not speaking to them for days at a time..

The Masters on the other hand, took responsibility for their own behaviours

One of the big differences was the Masters had the ability to repair the relationship; to say they were sorry and wanted to make things better. They wanted to maintain friendship with each other, and they were also receptive to the other partners repair attempts.

Gottman called the four most damaging habits, the four horsemen of the apocalypse;

• Criticism
• Contempt
• Defensiveness
• Stonewalling

If any of these are present in your relationship, know that it will not last unless you seriously set about eliminating these behaviours today!

        Grace Chatting

written by Grace \\ tags: Love;marriage;;relationship;John Gottman;Grace Chatting; Four Horsemen

Many relationships founder on the rocks of unhelpful habits John Assaraf (of The Secret fame) explains why it is so difficult to change these habits that get hardwired in our brains.We are genetically conditioned to do this, but we can break these patterns by having the right knowledge and using it in the right order.

John also explains how meditation can help with this process and how it takes up to 90 to completely change these habits, but it can be done!

This is why I urge couples whose marriages may be breaking down, to spend 90 days working with new knowledge and skills which can transform their relationship.

Watch out for the launch of Relationship Academy bringing you all the knowledge and information you need to transform your relationships.

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   Grace Chatting

written by Grace \\ tags: Law of Attraction;John Assaraf;Relationships; Marriage

If you are interested in finding out more about Relationship Mastery, sign up for my Free Ebook NOW!

grace@relationshipacademy.co.uk

written by Grace \\ tags: Divorce, love, marriage, Relationships; Dating

Many couples tend not to consider the developmental nature of relationships, and the process of moving from being single to becoming a couple; how we move through various stages from meeting, dating and then perhaps falling in love.

But being in love with someone is not the same as being in a committed relationship with them. Moving in to live with someone certainly is the action of someone who appears to be committed but that is not always the case. What can be commitment to one person can be cosy convenience to another. This is why couples need to have explicit conversations about commitment and where that may lead.

This video talks you through the evolution of a relationship.

Love well and be happy!

      Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: Relationships;love;marriage;dating;commitment

I want to take this opportunity to wish all my readers a very Happy New Year!

I am playing hooky today.

I have spent most of the last few weeks writing about relationships, dating, love and marriage, for my new Diploma in Relationship Coaching Course,  and creating online webinars for the launching of Relationship Academy.

I have also been figuring out how to use my new Mac and video editing software, so I have been grappling with lots of technical challenges that a little ageist voice in my head tells me I shouldn’t be dealing with. I have engaged a nice young man who knows about these things, to come and teach me.

Pyjama Days

I still have lots to do, but as the wind is howling and the rain is lashing down, and it’s a grey day, I decided I would have a pyjama day. Because I can.

When I have a pyjama day I spend time only with me and I only do things I want to do and don’t do anything I don’t want to do. Actually I have regular pyjama days, (there, my guilty secret is out!) but then that is when I do things like write my blog, because I enjoy doing that. In fact, I have arranged my life to do mostly only what I enjoy doing and hardly anything I don’t enjoy.Sssshh,  I think it is called being.

Pyjama days are really one of the best ways of managing stress thereby preventing illness or need for medication. Why wait until you are ill to have a pyjama day? It is much better when you feel well.

Pyjama days are what being self employed is all about. It makes up for the times when you are working on a project until the wee small hours of the morning.

Pyjama days are especially good on rainy workdays when everyone else is at work. I do feel a little bit guilty sometimes, but not for too long. This makes me think of a little poem by Nadine Stair which I will share with you as we edge further into the New Year;

I’d Pick More Daisies

By

Nadine Stair, age 85

If I had my life to live over,
       	I'd try to make more mistakes next time.
            	I would relax. I would limber up.
      I would be sillier than I have on this trip.
      I would be crazier. I would be less hygienic.
   I would take more chances, I would take more trips.
  I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers,
		and watch more sunsets.
I would burn more gasoline. I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
  I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.
         You see, I am one of those people who lives
    prophylactically and sensibly and sanely,
	hour after hour, day after day.

               Oh, I have had my moments
  And if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them.
        In fact, I'd try to have nothing else.
	   Just moments,one after another.
      Instead of living so many years ahead each day.
     I have been one of those people who never go anywhere
    without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a
		raincoat, and a parachute.

    If I had to do it over again, I would go places and do things.
                       I'd travel lighter than I have.
      If I had my life to live over, I would start barefooted
         earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
           I would play hooky more. I wouldn't make such good grades
		      except by accident.
                   I would ride on merry-go-rounds.

                        I'd pick more daisies!

   Live, love, laugh and be happy in 2012!

             Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: relationships; love and marriage; dating; ralationship academy; Grace Chatting