Jan 31

One of the great Relationship Masters, John Gottman and his wife did an extensive study of what made marriage relationships successful; looking at those couples who stayed together and made their marriages work.
They found that they could predict with 96% accuracy which couples would break up. The looked for patterns that separated the Masters from the Disasters.
The Disasters had these traits in common, they blamed each other and became defensive, and presented themselves as a Victim. They were critical of their partner whilst seeing themselves as superior and talked down to the other in a contemptuous way, or they would Stonewall them, not speaking to them for days at a time..
The Masters on the other hand, took responsibility for their own behaviours
One of the big differences was the Masters had the ability to repair the relationship; to say they were sorry and wanted to make things better. They wanted to maintain friendship with each other, and they were also receptive to the other partners repair attempts.
Gottman called the four most damaging habits, the four horsemen of the apocalypse;
- Criticism
- Contempt
- Defensiveness
- Stonewalling
If any of these are present in your relationship, know that it will not last unless you seriously set about eliminating these behaviours today!

Grace Chatting
written by Grace
\\ tags: Love;marriage;;relationship;John Gottman;Grace Chatting; Four Horsemen
Jan 29
Many relationships founder on the rocks of unhelpful habits John Assaraf (of The Secret fame) explains why it is so difficult to change these habits that get hardwired in our brains.We are genetically conditioned to do this, but we can break these patterns by having the right knowledge and using it in the right order.
John also explains how meditation can help with this process and how it takes up to 90 to completely change these habits, but it can be done!
This is why I urge couples whose marriages may be breaking down, to spend 90 days working with new knowledge and skills which can transform their relationship.
Watch out for the launch of Relationship Academy bringing you all the knowledge and information you need to transform your relationships.
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Grace Chatting
written by Grace
\\ tags: Law of Attraction;John Assaraf;Relationships; Marriage
Jan 27
The concept of Love Languages was popularised by writer Gary Chapman in his book, The 5 Love Languages. Geared to promoting relationship harmony and a happy marriage, he talks about the fact that there are 5 main ways that people receive love, and these are;
- Words of affirmation
- Touch
- Gifts
- Acts of service
- Time
As a rule what happens with most couples is that they show love to their partners in the way that they like to be loved, which may not be the way their partner receives love. For example a wife might feel loved if her husband helps her with household chores, and he might feel loved by being touched and caressed. It is likely that he will express his love with kisses and cuddles when she might really wish he would help with a bit of work around the house. She might cook lovely meals for him to show she loves him, but he wants to be touched. Both finish up feeling unloved and unappreciated.
How do you like to be loved? How does your spouse like to be loved? Why not check this out with each other. You may get a surprise 
Watch out for more Relationship Mastery Tips!
Grace
written by Grace
\\ tags: Dating;Grace Chatting;Relationship Coaching, The 5 Love Languages;Gary Chapman;Relationships;Marriage
Jan 23
![clip_image002[6] clip_image002[6]](http://www.gracechatting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/clip-image0026-thumb.png)
![clip_image004[6] clip_image004[6]](http://www.gracechatting.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/clip-image0046-thumb.jpg)
As most of you know, I am in the process of setting up the Relationship Academy online… what a learning curve!
I am now building up my data base and would value it if you could subscribe to my mailing list; to do so……
Pop your email address into the box on the right to receive a Free E-Book on Ultimate Self Confidence and a Free Webinar series on Relationship Mastery.
Many Thanks,
Grace
written by Grace
\\ tags: Relationship;Grace Chatting
Jan 13
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written by Grace
\\ tags: Divorce, love, marriage, Relationships; Dating