As a Relationship Coach I  see many people who are seeking to find a partner in the hope that it will make them happy. What I want them to understand is that, to find happiness, they need to build a good relationship with themselves first; love and esteem themselves; then they will naturally attract   a partner without having to try  too hard.

Here is a poem written by the great Virginia Satir. If you want to build your self-esteem, I suggest you read it every

                                       I AM ME

                                 by Virginia Satir

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me - I am me and 
I AM OKAY

© Virginia Satir, 1975.
Found in Virginia Satir, Self Esteem, Celestial Arts: California, 1975.

Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator.  She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist.  Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.

Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com/GraceChatting/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting

Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish you arrange a consultation

written by Grace \\ tags: relationship; happiness; Virginia Satir; Grace Chatting;; I am me; self-esteem

By Grace Chatting

My recent posts on how the Law of Attraction affects relationships has covered a lot of information, but I hope it has helped you see much more clearly how to attract that special someone into your life.

Now I want to explore the concept of living FROM the reality you want to attract. In this case living from the reality of already having your perfect partner in your life. 

One powerful way to work with the Law of Attraction is consciously being the person who has what you want. We’ve already discussed doing this on a physical level by being the person your perfect partner would want to be with, and engaging in the activities that your perfect partner would also be likely to engage in.

I am referring more to your mental and emotional state as you go about your daily activities. Are you thinking, feeling and acting like a person who already has their perfect partnership?

Or are you constantly focusing on how lonely and isolated you feel? Do you gaze jealously at other couples, wondering impatiently where your partner is? Do you feel sorry for yourself when you hear love songs on the radio or watch a romantic movie?

 All of these things are sure to keep you living from the perspective of NOT having the relationship you desire! If you turn this around, you are much more likely to attract what you want.

Creating The Conditions

• Create a network of friends and a full life for yourself .
• Be sociable and hospitable. Start a book club or cinema circle.
• Invite people to your home regularly. Not to moan or chit chat, but to engage in growth enhancing conversations.
• Beginning immediately, give your best effort to thinking, feeling and acting like a person who is involved in a loving, committed relationship. How would you look, walk and behave? Try it.
• Conjure up the feeling of being loved, cherished, happy, and secure. If you can’t, see a therapist.
• Be happy for other couples when you see them because you know the joy of feeling connected and intimate with a significant other.
• When you watch romantic movies or hear love songs on the radio, let your heart lift with joy and gratitude for the way they inspire you.
• Affirm as often as possible that your perfect partner is already here and will enter your life at the perfect time. Feel grateful and happy about it because you KNOW it’s true!

What You Can Do

That’s as far as your thoughts and emotions are concerned, but living from your perfect partnership also involves taking the actions that you would take if you were already involved.

Would you eat in nice restaurants? Would you take long, leisurely walks on the beach? Would you go out dancing or cycling?

Whatever activities you picture yourself doing with a lover, begin doing them yourself! If it makes you too uncomfortable to do them alone, ask a friend or family member to join you.

The more time you spend living FROM the perspective of your new reality, the more quickly and easily your current reality will shift to include the things you really want.

Attracting your perfect partner is no different than attracting anything else you want. Simply get clear about what you want, make room for it, and focus your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and activities in such a way that pulls it right into your life.

If you are interested in attending a workshop or residential week or weekend course on Relationships, in the UK or in Spain please contact me.

         Be Happy

              Grace

http://Twitter.com/GraceChatting

www.thebarefoottherapist.com

written by Grace \\ tags: Grace Chatting;Law of Attraction;Relationships;Limiting beliefs

By Grace Chatting

Hopefully you now have a solid understanding of the way your thoughts, beliefs and emotions operate with the Law of Attraction to attract certain kinds of people and events into your life, and how relationships with others  mirror your relationship with yourself. You also know the importance of being whole and happy on your own, as well as the importance of being the person your perfect partner would want to be with. Finally, you’ve now got some clear ideas of things you can do to help bring him or her into your life.

Would your new partner be central or peripheral?

But, what will you do when he or she gets here? Is there room for this new person in your life? I see people whose work takes them out of the country a lot, and others who keep horses, with all the time, money and energy resources these take. Is there time for a partner to be central in your life, or would they be add-ons to your work and animals?

Let’s face it; new relationships take some adjustment before you settle into a comfortable routine. If your life circumstances are rigid and restricted, you may have a difficult time shifting them to make room for the addition of a new relationship.

Begin the process NOW so your perfect partner will ease into your life without a hitch. I have seen many couples whose lives and relationships become totally derailed by their OVER attachment to animals. What seems acceptable to another animal lover becomes a serious issue when the couple want to start a family and disproportionate amounts of time, energy and money are spent on one persons attachment.

Important Considerations

There are 3 main areas you should give some attention to:

Time. Do you have time for a committed relationship? Do you work a lot, or have other demands on your time?

One thing that many of us do when we get involved in a new relationship is drop everything else. It’s understandable because when we’re in love we feel so happy that we don’t want that feeling to end. So we might neglect our friends and family members, or even our work or other obligations for awhile, which isn’t healthy.

Try to avoid this by instead making room in your schedule for your perfect partner. When he or she arrives, how much time will you spend together? How much time do your other obligations require?

You don’t have to get too detailed with this, but do your best to make room in your schedule for the new relationship you’re attracting. When you do, you create a space for it to arrive in your life!

Physical surroundings. The same thing goes for your physical surroundings. Is the passenger seat of your car loaded with so much stuff that no one else can sit there? Is your home crammed to the ceilings with your own belongings with little room for someone else’s belongings?

Go through the same process of making room for your perfect partner in your physical surroundings as you did with your schedule, and you’ll create a space for him or her to become part of your life.

Go from room to room in your home and look at it through the eyes of a potential partner. What do you see that needs to be de-cluttered or changed? Make an action plan and get cracking.

Emotional. Finally, are you emotionally ready to welcome your perfect partner into your life? You may think you are, but I want you to have a clear picture of what it will be like to share your life with another person.

Are you ready to connect intimately and communicate deeply with another? Are you ready to open your heart and trust another person?These are serious questions that require an unreserved “Yes”

If not, you will find a way to sabotage any new relationship that enters your life. To avoid this, be sure to prepare and strengthen yourself emotionally beforehand. One good way to do this is by visualizing yourself feeling confident and strong from within as you open your heart and share your life with another person. This will make a huge difference.

These three areas are key, but the point is to create a space in all areas of your life so when your perfect partner comes along he or she will fit right in!

My next post will cover another important part of the puzzle, living from your perfect partnership. Be sure not to miss that one because it’s something that can make all the difference in attracting the relationship you want!

If you are interested in attending a workshop or residential week or weekend course on Relationships, in the UK or in Spain please contact me.

      Be Happy

                  Grace

http://Twitter.com/GraceChatting

www.thebarefoottherapist.co.uk

written by Grace \\ tags: Grace Chatting; Relationships; Love; Law of Attraction;Dating

By Grace Chatting

Are you feeling clearer about the Law of Attraction and the type of person you need to be in order to attract more meaningful relationships?

I want to say  more about the things you can do to actually begin attracting a partner. And the very first step is to STOP TRYING !

What??? I hear you say. Bear with me; it actually makes sense when you think about it.

The more you obsess about finding your perfect partner, the stronger message of “need” you send to the universe. You’ll enter every social situation with the expectation of meeting “The One,” and if it doesn’t happen you’ll feel disappointed, which only sends more negative energy to the universe!

 Detach

Instead, you have to be willing to let go of your expectations to meet Mr. or Ms. Right. You need to DETACH from how and when it all comes about.

That’s not easy to do, I know, but it’s necessary because otherwise you continue to convey neediness and desperation to the universe – which is what you DON’T want.

Rather than walking into every situation with the expectation of meeting “The One,” make it your mission to simply enjoy meeting interesting people. Think of them as friends only, not potential love matches. If sparks happen to fly between you and one of those people, great! See where it might lead. But don’t EXPECT to have a match.

Make sense?

Create possibilities

Another important thing to do is create openings for potential partnerships to form. After all, you want to make it more likely that your perfect partner will find you, right? That means engaging in activities that your potential partner would also be likely to engage in.

Now, you don’t have to go nuts with this and join dozens of clubs or exhaust yourself with excessive social activities. Your perfect partner can find you anywhere, really. But do what you can to increase the likelihood, within reason.

Now, is it possible to attract someone SPECIFIC with the Law of Attraction?

I get this question a lot, and my answer is always the same: Yes and No; ONLY if that person feels attracted to you too! If he or she does not want to be with you, you will be wasting your time by trying to force something that isn’t going to happen. Please don’t do that to yourself.

If you have feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same about you; or if you’ve broken up with someone who does not want to get back together with you – you MUST find a way to let them go. You cannot use the Law of Attraction to force them to want you. You just can’t.

Instead, be willing to believe that there is someone BETTER for you out there; someone who has many of the same traits as this other person, but who will be an even better match for you.

Watch out for my next post on making room in your life for a life partner.

       Be Happy

                    Grace

www.thebarefoottherapist.co.uk

http://Twitter.com/GraceChatting

written by Grace \\ tags: Grace Chatting;Law of Attraction;Relationships;life partner;love and marriage;relationships

By Grace Chatting

In my last post I discussed the Law of Attraction and the importance of being whole and happy   yourself, before your perfect partner shows up, rather than relying on another person to make you feel complete. If you have taken that on board, that’s a powerful start, but there are also other things you can do to boost the likelihood of attracting the type of partner you want.

Characteristics of your ideal partner

When I am coaching reluctant singles, I encourage them to make a detailed list of the qualities and traits they’d like their perfect partner to have. You will see how it is useful if you do the same.

What do you imagine he or she will look like? What type of personality will he or she have? What aspirations or ambitions for the future will he or she have? What values do they hold, and what field of work are they likely to be in?

Use as much detail as you can, covering everything from career to personality, spiritual beliefs, values, lifestyle, physical appearance and beyond.

When you’ve finished, read over the list. Did you include everything you want your perfect partner to have? How about how they are with money, and habits such as drinking or smoking? What about how they like to spend time?

How do you fit?

Now comes the fun part. Go back over that list and check off any of the traits and descriptions that fit YOU.

Do you have the same type of spiritual beliefs you want your partner to have? Do you have the same type of personality? Do you have the same level of goals and ambitions in life?

Don’t worry if you don’t have ALL the traits – that’s not the point of this exercise. Instead, notice how many you do have, compared to how many you don’t. Then ask yourself this question:

Would I be the perfect partner for this person I want to attract?

Obviously, you and your partner are two separate people, so there will be differences in your personalities and goals. But if the differences are too great, what makes you think your perfect partner would be attracted to someone they have almost nothing in common with?

If the traits and qualities on your list are important to you, you need to start developing them within yourself first!

Then when your perfect partner arrives on the scene, he or she will quickly recognize a kindred soul – and sparks are much more likely to fly. There are other factors involved, of course. But BEING the perfect partner for your perfect partner is a very big part of it.

In my next post I will get into the nitty-gritty of actually attracting your perfect partner, so be sure to be ready by creating the profile of your perfect partner and then see what you need to change.

If you are interested in attending a workshop or residential week or weekend course on Relationships, in the UK or in Spain please contact me.

                     Grace

http://Twitter.com/GraceChatting

www.thebarefoottherapist.co.uk

written by Grace \\ tags: Grace Chatting;Love and Marriage;Relationships;Singles;Ideal partner;Soul Mate;Law of Attraction;