Grace Chatting

I want to introduce all my readers to EFT and the idea of using it (Emotional Freedom Technique) as a marriage and relationship enhancing tool or skill. Alan and I have routinely practiced EFT together over the years with great personal benefits. We also use it professionally, mostly  with quite amazing results.

I discovered EFT about 15 years ago when I downloaded Gary Craig’s free online manual http://www.emofree.com and devoured all his DVDs on the subject. EFT operates on the same principles as Acupuncture, but without the needles, and in my view it is one of the most simple and profound, literally life changing techniques.

In my view, many of our chronic physical and emotional pain and difficulties have their roots in emotion generated during our early years, often preverbal or even pre-natal. EFT is great for clearing these. This video gives a basic explanation.

As you can see from the video, EFT is used for many serious physical as well as emotional conditions. What people don’t generally recognise is that when they settle into a couple relationship, all their unconscious hurts and emotional pain gets triggered by the people we love simply because we love them and are much more sensitive to them and what they say and do, than to other people. We are attached to them, and all our emotional issues around early attachment figures such as parents, tend to get projected onto our partner without us realising we are doing that.

The beauty of EFT is that it doesn’t require us to get into a great deal of deep discussion about the issues, but just the feeling, which is then quite quickly dissolved, usually permanently, and it is something which couples can be taught quickly and easily.

The trouble is many people feel self conscious or uncomfortable, because the tapping on acupressure points seems a little strange. Not nearly so strange as finishing up with chronic illnesses or divorce!

Do yourself a favour and check it out today.

  Love well,

         Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: Marriage;Gary Craig;EFT;Emotional Freedom Technique;

If you are interested in finding out more about Relationship Mastery, sign up for my Free Ebook NOW!

grace@relationshipacademy.co.uk

written by Grace \\ tags: Divorce, love, marriage, Relationships; Dating

Many couples tend not to consider the developmental nature of relationships, and the process of moving from being single to becoming a couple; how we move through various stages from meeting, dating and then perhaps falling in love.

But being in love with someone is not the same as being in a committed relationship with them. Moving in to live with someone certainly is the action of someone who appears to be committed but that is not always the case. What can be commitment to one person can be cosy convenience to another. This is why couples need to have explicit conversations about commitment and where that may lead.

This video talks you through the evolution of a relationship.

Love well and be happy!

      Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: Relationships;love;marriage;dating;commitment

Of the many clients I see each year about their love, marriage and relationship issues, I notice that some are suspicious and jealous, suspecting their partners of seeing someone behind their back.or being unfaithful, without any grounds other than their own feelings of insecurity.

Others are heartbroken because they found out that their partner had cheated on them, and they had thought it could never happen to them, therefore didn’t see it coming. I saw one lady in her 70s ( who quite reasonable considered herself safe and settled)  whose same aged partner had left her for a woman in her 50s. I have also seen a number of couples who had affairs after they had celebrated their silver wedding anniversary.

Talk to each other

There is a middle road. You don’t have to be suspecting your partner of any misdemeanour to simply talk about the subject of infidelity as a preventive measure. There can be an agreement made that should temptation to stray ever come about that you would talk to each other about it. Many relationships are ruined by opportunistic flings that go wrong. Of course there are no guarantees here, but being open to discussion may just prompt a foolish impulse,

Vulnerabilities

Most couple relationships begin because of their proximity to each other, either in a work setting or in a group or any kind of regular meeting. For example in emergency services, such as police and ambulance, staff often spend a lot of time together in a twosome in their vehicles.

Because they often have more one to one time together than they do with their spouse of partner, they often find themselves exchanging intimate details about themselves, and without realising it or even intending it, they stray into emotional infidelity.

Similarly, when one of a couple needs to work away from home regularly, they will quite naturally and reasonably get to know a network of people unknown to their spouse. They may build up a whole social life and in effect have two separate lives. This an certainly present challenges to the couple relationship and safeguards need to be agreed.

Warning signs

Tell tale signs that thoughts of infidelity may be in the air are when your partner takes a sudden interest in their appearance, wearing different style clothes, and particularly spending extra money on new underwear or aftershave

New activities and different time keeping also can be a sign, as well as needing to pop out at odd times in spite of weather condition. Of course these things in themselves don’t mean an affair, but often you would have a gut feeling about it too. The best way of dealing with it is just to be honest about your observations without making any accusations.

Reasons For Affairs

Like I said, affairs are usually opportunistic, arising from regular proximity, but that in itself doesn’t lead to infidelity. In my experience, the majority of people who have affairs  are generally faithful but perhaps have been feeling not valued of taken for granted by their spouse. When someone else is around whose relationship with them is building up, and that person clearly values them, this can tip the scales in favour of an affair starting. This is why it is a good idea to have regular connecting conversations with your spouse or partner. What is a connecting conversation? Watch out for my next Blog Post.

Have a great week,

Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: lov; marriage; relationships; affair; infidelity; Grace Chatting

Christmas is a time for love, romance, mistletoe and happy families, right? Wrong!

For many couples and  families out there, it will be the last year they will all be together for Christmas and many of them don’t know it yet.

Solicitors know they will have their usual rush of divorce applications  in January, their  busiest time of the year.

The sad thing is that many of these marriages and relationships could have been saved if only people knew and understood about how relationships grow and develop. It is this lack of knowledge that leads to many divorces and family breakdown, not as many believe that marriage is a bad thing.

Pot-bound Relationships

You can see from the plant here that its growth is stunted as  clearly it has outgrown its current pot  and needs to be re-potted into a bigger one. Just because it is pot-bound doesn’t mean it needs to be chucked away!

Relationships are like that!

When couples start to bicker and the relationship becomes strained, it is often a sign that the relationship is ready to move into another stage rather than that it is over. Unfortunately most couples don’t know this and they misread the signs, often with disastrous results for the family.

Here is a great little video which shows how opportunities and growth points can be missed.

I shall be launching The Relationship Academy in the new year to teach lessons which weren’t taught at school.

Please Like my new page on Facebook to help me get started with spreading the word  http://on.fb.me/uZwgvz

Many thanks,

Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: relationships; love; marriage; divorce;family breakdown