To strengthen your relationship, at the beginning of each year, it is a good idea to ask your partner what they would most like to achieve in the coming year and how you could help them with that. You can do the same. This sets a tone of connection throughout the year ahead.

It is useful to build in reviews of how you are each progressing, offering each other support and encouragement throughout the year, working as a team.

This is also a good time to set some goals for your relationship. Here are some suggestions;

Weekly Date Night

“Why would a couple that lives and sleeps together every night need dates and rituals? Precisely because they live and sleep together.” Bill Doherty

Have a ‘Date Night’ every week - just the two of you, away from the house. Many couples simply get out of the habit of being a couple because they become too busy being parents, or constantly being in the company of family or friends. You should both take turns at organising the date. Arrange childcare and transport if necessary.

The date does not have to be expensive or exotic, but it must allow you both the opportunity to look at and talk to each other. Remember what I have said about the importance of touch. If you are a couple who are not very tactile, remember, this is not your natural state. Practice holding hands, and gentle, casual touching. Learn to be more comfortable with touch, it is as essential for your well being as drinking water is for your health.

It may be that your weekly date is during the day, in which case it is really good if you can be in nature, either walking in the woods, by a river or by the sea. There are all sorts of extra benefits from being in the fresh air and sunshine, especially somewhere beautiful.

Creating some positive memories and associations is like putting deposits in your emotional bank. There is something to draw on then when the going gets tough.

Monthly

Visit somewhere new, perhaps on one of your weekly dates, that neither of you have seen before. It is useful and pleasant to create a list of all the places within a 30-mile radius that you would like to visit or explore. Making a point of seeing new places together helps to keep some freshness in your relationship. It may be a new town or village, a place of interest, a new walk, or a different restaurant.

This gives you the opportunity to anticipate a new experience, to be curious and to wonder, perhaps even to be excited. These are feelings and states that couples usually have at the beginning of their relationship that can get lost in day-to-day life. Be positive and make the most of every occasion.

Visiting a new place allows you both to let the childlike part of you to come to the forefront. You can decide to have an adventure, be spontaneous and playful.

Having a regular monthly adventure prevents you both from becoming too serious or caught in a rut. It also gives you something positive and fun to talk to each other about and allows you to be a couple again.

Quarterly

Have a weekend away together at least quarterly or more often if you can afford to do so. This may depend on your resources such as money and availability of childcare. It is well worth making the effort to get away together at least a couple of weekends a year without children, family or friends.

The primary purpose is to just hang out together, enjoy each other’s company and pay attention to each other. Just being away from house, home, phone, computer, and children allows you the opportunity to switch off and de-stress. It also gives you both something to look forward to.

Annually

Aim to have at least one annual holiday – preferably in the sunshine. If you have children, discuss and negotiate how you can each have a bit of time to yourself during the holiday. Agree how you can help each other achieve what you each most want to achieve from the holiday.

All of these things help to keep your connection solid and provides an environment to maintain the commitment and spark in your relationship.

Be great role models

Remember you will be role modelling for your children, how to have a great relationship. This is a real gift to them – priceless, and helps to fulfil your role of being great parents.

Write down your plan for the year. This makes it more concrete and something you are both committed to as a couple. You can use it to review progress throughout the year.

Happy New Year

                Grace

For more on developing happy and fulfilling relationships, subscribe to the RSS Feed of my Blog. Follow me on Twitter@afterido. You can connect to me on LinkedIn or friend me on Facebook. If I can help you or your relationship, check out my coaching and consulting practice via LinkedIn, email me on grace@gracechatting.com  or call me on 07816491165

written by Grace \\ tags: relationship; 2011; love; date; intimacy; Grace Chatting

By Grace Chatting

My recent posts on how the Law of Attraction affects relationships has covered a lot of information, but I hope it has helped you see much more clearly how to attract that special someone into your life.

Now I want to explore the concept of living FROM the reality you want to attract. In this case living from the reality of already having your perfect partner in your life. 

One powerful way to work with the Law of Attraction is consciously being the person who has what you want. We’ve already discussed doing this on a physical level by being the person your perfect partner would want to be with, and engaging in the activities that your perfect partner would also be likely to engage in.

I am referring more to your mental and emotional state as you go about your daily activities. Are you thinking, feeling and acting like a person who already has their perfect partnership?

Or are you constantly focusing on how lonely and isolated you feel? Do you gaze jealously at other couples, wondering impatiently where your partner is? Do you feel sorry for yourself when you hear love songs on the radio or watch a romantic movie?

 All of these things are sure to keep you living from the perspective of NOT having the relationship you desire! If you turn this around, you are much more likely to attract what you want.

Creating The Conditions

• Create a network of friends and a full life for yourself .
• Be sociable and hospitable. Start a book club or cinema circle.
• Invite people to your home regularly. Not to moan or chit chat, but to engage in growth enhancing conversations.
• Beginning immediately, give your best effort to thinking, feeling and acting like a person who is involved in a loving, committed relationship. How would you look, walk and behave? Try it.
• Conjure up the feeling of being loved, cherished, happy, and secure. If you can’t, see a therapist.
• Be happy for other couples when you see them because you know the joy of feeling connected and intimate with a significant other.
• When you watch romantic movies or hear love songs on the radio, let your heart lift with joy and gratitude for the way they inspire you.
• Affirm as often as possible that your perfect partner is already here and will enter your life at the perfect time. Feel grateful and happy about it because you KNOW it’s true!

What You Can Do

That’s as far as your thoughts and emotions are concerned, but living from your perfect partnership also involves taking the actions that you would take if you were already involved.

Would you eat in nice restaurants? Would you take long, leisurely walks on the beach? Would you go out dancing or cycling?

Whatever activities you picture yourself doing with a lover, begin doing them yourself! If it makes you too uncomfortable to do them alone, ask a friend or family member to join you.

The more time you spend living FROM the perspective of your new reality, the more quickly and easily your current reality will shift to include the things you really want.

Attracting your perfect partner is no different than attracting anything else you want. Simply get clear about what you want, make room for it, and focus your thoughts, feelings, beliefs and activities in such a way that pulls it right into your life.

If you are interested in attending a workshop or residential week or weekend course on Relationships, in the UK or in Spain please contact me.

         Be Happy

              Grace

http://Twitter.com/GraceChatting

www.thebarefoottherapist.com

written by Grace \\ tags: Grace Chatting;Law of Attraction;Relationships;Limiting beliefs

By Grace Chatting

Hopefully you now have a solid understanding of the way your thoughts, beliefs and emotions operate with the Law of Attraction to attract certain kinds of people and events into your life, and how relationships with others  mirror your relationship with yourself. You also know the importance of being whole and happy on your own, as well as the importance of being the person your perfect partner would want to be with. Finally, you’ve now got some clear ideas of things you can do to help bring him or her into your life.

Would your new partner be central or peripheral?

But, what will you do when he or she gets here? Is there room for this new person in your life? I see people whose work takes them out of the country a lot, and others who keep horses, with all the time, money and energy resources these take. Is there time for a partner to be central in your life, or would they be add-ons to your work and animals?

Let’s face it; new relationships take some adjustment before you settle into a comfortable routine. If your life circumstances are rigid and restricted, you may have a difficult time shifting them to make room for the addition of a new relationship.

Begin the process NOW so your perfect partner will ease into your life without a hitch. I have seen many couples whose lives and relationships become totally derailed by their OVER attachment to animals. What seems acceptable to another animal lover becomes a serious issue when the couple want to start a family and disproportionate amounts of time, energy and money are spent on one persons attachment.

Important Considerations

There are 3 main areas you should give some attention to:

Time. Do you have time for a committed relationship? Do you work a lot, or have other demands on your time?

One thing that many of us do when we get involved in a new relationship is drop everything else. It’s understandable because when we’re in love we feel so happy that we don’t want that feeling to end. So we might neglect our friends and family members, or even our work or other obligations for awhile, which isn’t healthy.

Try to avoid this by instead making room in your schedule for your perfect partner. When he or she arrives, how much time will you spend together? How much time do your other obligations require?

You don’t have to get too detailed with this, but do your best to make room in your schedule for the new relationship you’re attracting. When you do, you create a space for it to arrive in your life!

Physical surroundings. The same thing goes for your physical surroundings. Is the passenger seat of your car loaded with so much stuff that no one else can sit there? Is your home crammed to the ceilings with your own belongings with little room for someone else’s belongings?

Go through the same process of making room for your perfect partner in your physical surroundings as you did with your schedule, and you’ll create a space for him or her to become part of your life.

Go from room to room in your home and look at it through the eyes of a potential partner. What do you see that needs to be de-cluttered or changed? Make an action plan and get cracking.

Emotional. Finally, are you emotionally ready to welcome your perfect partner into your life? You may think you are, but I want you to have a clear picture of what it will be like to share your life with another person.

Are you ready to connect intimately and communicate deeply with another? Are you ready to open your heart and trust another person?These are serious questions that require an unreserved “Yes”

If not, you will find a way to sabotage any new relationship that enters your life. To avoid this, be sure to prepare and strengthen yourself emotionally beforehand. One good way to do this is by visualizing yourself feeling confident and strong from within as you open your heart and share your life with another person. This will make a huge difference.

These three areas are key, but the point is to create a space in all areas of your life so when your perfect partner comes along he or she will fit right in!

My next post will cover another important part of the puzzle, living from your perfect partnership. Be sure not to miss that one because it’s something that can make all the difference in attracting the relationship you want!

If you are interested in attending a workshop or residential week or weekend course on Relationships, in the UK or in Spain please contact me.

      Be Happy

                  Grace

http://Twitter.com/GraceChatting

www.thebarefoottherapist.co.uk

written by Grace \\ tags: Grace Chatting; Relationships; Love; Law of Attraction;Dating

By Grace Chatting

Over the next few weeks I shall cover some great information that will help you to attract better relationships into your life, or better improve the ones you already have. You’ll find that the information is geared more toward romantic relationships, but it can easily be applied to any other kind of relationships too.

First, let’s go over exactly what the Law of Attraction is and how it applies to your relationships.

The Law of Attraction works according to your thoughts, emotions and beliefs. Your thoughts trigger your emotions and your emotions emit a “signal” to the universe, which then responds by returning corresponding experiences and events into your life. Basically, whatever you tend to focus on the most is what you’ll attract into your life – including the types of people surrounding you.

Take a moment right now and think about the people in your life. Are your family members, friends, co-workers and associates the types of people you want to connect with? Or do you feel like you must have been dropped from a helicopter into a group of people you have nothing in common with?

What about your significant other? Do you have a loving, intimate connection with another person, or are you still waiting for the right person to come along?

Believe it or not, these circumstances are no accident. Your connections with the people around you (or the absence of the person/people you’re still waiting for) are usually the result of your mental and emotional state on a day-to-day basis. Does that seem hard to believe?

That’s because most of us create our lives by default. We don’t purposely try to create problems and other things we don’t want – we just don’t know how not to.

The Law of Attraction simply gives you what you ask for – even if you don’t realize you’re asking!

Besides your mental and emotional states, your beliefs and mindsets also come into play, either blocking or accepting the things you’ve asked for.

That’s important to understand because even when you think you’re sending out the “right” energy to attract something you want, your beliefs might still be holding it back.

If, at some level, you don’t believe you deserve loving, harmonious relationships, you will subconsciously block them from forming! If you believe that other people can’t be trusted, or they’re deceptive, or they are all out to hurt and betray you, you will push them away – even if that doesn’t apply to the majority of people you meet.

The subconscious mind works in mysterious ways!

I shall be exploring these concepts in much more detail over the next few weeks, starting at the beginning: with your relationship with yourself. This is important because that is where ALL relationships spring from.

Learn how your relationship with yourself creates a reflection in ALL of your other relationships. It’s truly eye-opening when you see how it works!

             Be Happy

               Grace

www.gracechatting.com

www.thebarefoottherapist.co.uk

http://twitter.com/GraceChatting

written by Grace \\ tags: Grace Chatting;Relationships;Dating;Law of Attraction

Romantic date ideas may seem like they are hard to come by. With Valentine’s Day coming up, you want to plan something special without being cliché. Fortunately, there are a lot of creative romantic date ideas that can turn your special night into something really special.

Exploration can be fun, exciting and can become romantic as well! Instead of working on creating just a romantic date atmosphere for you and your partner, why not make your romance last? Try planning a romantic weekend to someplace special that is new for both of you. How about good old romantic Paris, Barcelona or Rome? All guaranteed to be memorable.

If you don’t want to plan a formal trip, even a drive to another city for an afternoon can be a romantic date idea. You can drive to the largest big city and transport all of your romantic date ideas to a new location. A dinner and visit to a theatre or cinema is a lot more exciting when you’re visiting a new place. When you take your love on the road with your romantic date idea, you have a better chance to bond. You’re creating fun memories that you two can share.

A romantic environment can be created in your own hometown too. A candlelit dinner is hard to beat. You can arrange for a surprise romantic meal at a local restaurant and arrange for flowers to be brought to the table which perhaps can be in a secluded corner, and if you bring your favourite couple CD, you could ask for it to be played during the meal. If you really wanted to push the boat out, you could arrange to be transported in a stretch limousine.

Alternatively, you could try cooking a romantic meal together and create a romantic atmosphere with scented candles and flowers. You could even have a sensual massage for dessert!

And, if you don’t have much money to spend, how about a visit to the cinema to see a Walt Disney classic which you both can enjoy.

The important thing is that you give it some thought, and stay really present for each other. Switch your mobile phones and the television off, and focus your attention on each other. And of course romantic music helps to make it all a memorable Valentines Day.

written by Grace \\ tags: romance, valentine, Valentines Day