Just in case you didn’t realise that I now have a new website for all things to do with Dating, Love, Marriage, Relationships and Divorce, here is the link;
http://www.relationshipacademy.co.uk/blog
Head over there now and access 3 Free videos
Live,love,laugh and be happy,
Grace
The concept of Love Languages was popularised by writer Gary Chapman in his book, The 5 Love Languages. Geared to promoting relationship harmony and a happy marriage, he talks about the fact that there are 5 main ways that people receive love, and these are;
As a rule what happens with most couples is that they show love to their partners in the way that they like to be loved, which may not be the way their partner receives love. For example a wife might feel loved if her husband helps her with household chores, and he might feel loved by being touched and caressed. It is likely that he will express his love with kisses and cuddles when she might really wish he would help with a bit of work around the house. She might cook lovely meals for him to show she loves him, but he wants to be touched. Both finish up feeling unloved and unappreciated.
How do you like to be loved? How does your spouse like to be loved? Why not check this out with each other. You may get a surprise 
Watch out for more Relationship Mastery Tips!
Grace
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grace@relationshipacademy.co.uk
By Grace Chatting
So you want to be in a relationship, be warned, dating married people is definitely a bad idea. It’s not just that they’ve already made a commitment to someone else, it’s not even that it’s morally wrong in the eyes of most cultures, but mainly it’s because the relationship is going to go nowhere!
Why date someone who is married.? Well there are those who habitually date people who are married not because they want a secure relationship, but rather that they don’t want to make a commitment to someone else themselves. This works out great for them. They get to have the “plus” aspects of a relationship without being tied down. You should know however that there is a downside to this kind of relationship because the married partner isn’t always able to turn up for dates, or has to be home by a certain time so as not to arouse suspicion at home, and there will be certain places you are unable to go together for fear of them being seen with you.
If you enter into an affair, you are going to become almost invisible as a date. You are not free to find another partner who is free to date you openly, and yet you are not visibly attached to anyone. Anytime you and the person you have entered the affair with go somewhere, you risk the possibility of their partner finding out and so your married date may choose some very obscure places to eat – supposing they ever dare to be seen with you at all in public! If you happen to see your married date at a restaurant, or function, you need to be prepared to meet the partner they’re committed to. You will also need to be prepared to act as if you don’t know this married date very well and be careful not to say anything that would imply differently.
Don’t fall for the old line of “my partner doesn’t understand me and I’m going to leave them”. In all likelihood this isn’t g
oing to happen. They aren’t going to leave their nice house, nice family, nice job, nice place in the community for you. Well they might, but the odds are really stacked against you on that on. Besides, if they’ve cheated on the person they’re married to and then left them for you, you have to consider that they could do this again, only this time it will you that’s left alone! I have certainly had clients that this has happened to.
Do you really want to be little more than a shadow? Someone who is there when your married partner requests it? Someone who never gets to spend Christmas with them. Someone who never gets to call them at their home or office in case someone figures out that they’re having an affair?
This may work if you’re not looking to have someone there for you on the days when you need support and comfort, but if you want a relationship which has more than a sexual context to it, then having an affair with a married person is not the answer to your dating dilemma. Better to wait for someone who is available. Happiness is rarely ever achieved at someone else’s expense.
Be happy,
Grace grace@gracechatting.com
In our roles as Life and Relationship Coaches, for many years now Alan and myself have come across scores of men and women in their mid 30s – 40s who are single and don’t want to be. Mostly they are really attractive fairly successful and eligible people and they are at a stage in life when they want to have a life partner, a home and a family.They just don’t seem to be able to find a suitable partner anywhere.
Many start to feel quite lonely and despairing, especially the women whose biological clock is ticking away. Men also get concerned because they want to still be young enough to be a friend to their teenage offspring. This can be the start of a vicious cycle. These feelings of hopelessness and loneliness tend to be unattractive to potential partners and give out messages of neediness, which is off putting.
There is no doubt that if you find yourself still single after mid 30s, most of your friends have moved on, married and perhaps had children, and you may be out of the loop as far as relationships go.
You may have been in a long term relationship whic
h has ended, and now find yourself newly single. It’s difficult to find networks of people who are necessarily your type. As a young adult you could easily meet potential dates or partners in clubs, bars, nightclubs and parties , or at college or university. As you get older, those avenues are not so available or appropriate. So, what do you do?
Many people are now meeting online and after kissing a few frogs are fortunate enough to find a prince/ss. Whilst this may be a way of meeting people, there is something of a skill to writing profiles for dating sites, and not everyone can present themselves attractively online.
People, especially women worry that they may not be able to trust people that they meet online, but the same arguments could be raised for meeting someone anywhere. There is always a need to be discerning about who you enter into a relationship with no matter where you meet them. Often (but not always) the most reliable prospects are people who are introduced to you by someone you know.
I have organised a day which I am calling Making New Connections Cafe http://makingnewconnections.eventbrite.com for many of these folk to be able to meet each other. The day will be in the World Cafe style http://www.theworldcafe.com. These days are relaxed and great fun, and consist of breaking down into small groups of people having interesting and stimulating conversations around a number of small tables, which they move around, so everyone has a chance to meet everyone else.
I shall pose questions for each conversation to focus on, so people won’t be wondering what to talk about. This kind of gathering helps those who have been single for some time to get right into conversations with lots of new people and to get comfortable with that. It is a way of getting out of your comfort zone… comfortably!
It seems to me that most single people go about pretending they aren’t really bothered about being single, when they are. They put up a front. This is not helpful, it sends mixed messages.
I invite you all now, to come out of the closet and come along to my Making New Connections day http://makingnewconnections.eventbrite.com and allow me to introduce you to lots of new and interesting people and share a buffet lunch with us all.
If you really want to push the boat out, why not come along to the 2 day Singles Workshop in the west of Ireland http://www.burrenlifebalance.com/
Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator. She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist. Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.
Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com@GraceChatting/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting
Email grace@gracechatting.com
Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish to arrange a consultation
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