Jan 13
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grace@relationshipacademy.co.uk
Sep 11
As a result of a very difficult and painful time in my life, I learned how to live, and then to love consciously, and that has made all the difference to my life.
As a child at school, a little old nun told me that I was destined for great things, but I didn’t really believe it, and carried on through life with loads of limiting beliefs and trying to play it safe, not taking opportunities presented to me.
Similarly, many of the difficulties I see people experiencing are generated by them trying to stay safe. They don’t know they are doing it. They have formed a mind-set.
Here is a brief video by Anthony Robbins about how making little changes can result in big differences.
What little change can you make today?
Have a great week!
Grace
Feb 22
In our roles as Life and Relationship Coaches, for many years now Alan and myself have come across scores of men and women in their mid 30s – 40s who are single and don’t want to be. Mostly they are really attractive fairly successful and eligible people and they are at a stage in life when they want to have a life partner, a home and a family.They just don’t seem to be able to find a suitable partner anywhere.
Many start to feel quite lonely and despairing, especially the women whose biological clock is ticking away. Men also get concerned because they want to still be young enough to be a friend to their teenage offspring. This can be the start of a vicious cycle. These feelings of hopelessness and loneliness tend to be unattractive to potential partners and give out messages of neediness, which is off putting.
There is no doubt that if you find yourself still single after mid 30s, most of your friends have moved on, married and perhaps had children, and you may be out of the loop as far as relationships go.
You may have been in a long term relationship whic
h has ended, and now find yourself newly single. It’s difficult to find networks of people who are necessarily your type. As a young adult you could easily meet potential dates or partners in clubs, bars, nightclubs and parties , or at college or university. As you get older, those avenues are not so available or appropriate. So, what do you do?
Online/Offline Dating
Many people are now meeting online and after kissing a few frogs are fortunate enough to find a prince/ss. Whilst this may be a way of meeting people, there is something of a skill to writing profiles for dating sites, and not everyone can present themselves attractively online.
People, especially women worry that they may not be able to trust people that they meet online, but the same arguments could be raised for meeting someone anywhere. There is always a need to be discerning about who you enter into a relationship with no matter where you meet them. Often (but not always) the most reliable prospects are people who are introduced to you by someone you know.
The Good News
I have organised a day which I am calling Making New Connections Cafe http://makingnewconnections.eventbrite.com for many of these folk to be able to meet each other. The day will be in the World Cafe style http://www.theworldcafe.com. These days are relaxed and great fun, and consist of breaking down into small groups of people having interesting and stimulating conversations around a number of small tables, which they move around, so everyone has a chance to meet everyone else.
I shall pose questions for each conversation to focus on, so people won’t be wondering what to talk about. This kind of gathering helps those who have been single for some time to get right into conversations with lots of new people and to get comfortable with that. It is a way of getting out of your comfort zone… comfortably!
Invitation
It seems to me that most single people go about pretending they aren’t really bothered about being single, when they are. They put up a front. This is not helpful, it sends mixed messages.
I invite you all now, to come out of the closet and come along to my Making New Connections day http://makingnewconnections.eventbrite.com and allow me to introduce you to lots of new and interesting people and share a buffet lunch with us all.
If you really want to push the boat out, why not come along to the 2 day Singles Workshop in the west of Ireland http://www.burrenlifebalance.com/
Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator. She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist. Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.
Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com@GraceChatting/
http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting
Email grace@gracechatting.com
Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish to arrange a consultation
Jan 30
by Grace Chatting
There’s an old saying that an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure, and that is true for relationships as much as anything else.
I saw a couple this week who after a two year relationship, had recently moved in together, but things were starting to go wrong. They found themselves constantly bickering and were very distressed at what appeared to be evidence that they were not right for each other. Actually it is quite common for this to happen after the initial honeymoon period.
It turned out, as is often the case, that they were each going about doing various versions of “biting my tongue” and “keeping the peace”. Of course it was anything but peace, and they would both finish up doing the 4 Rs that Anthony Robbins talks about.
The 4 Rs
By not speaking the unspoken, a loss of attraction creeps in followed by resistance and irritation with the other person. This soon develops into resentment and ultimately rejection.
Don’t Keep The Peace!
Going about not saying anything and hoping that your partner will read your mind, simply doesn’t work and it certainly doesn’t make for peaceful living. It creates tension and irritation. Far better to develop the habit of speaking up respectfully to each other and thereby developing emotional honesty.
Here is a short video which explains:-
The Four Rs
Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator. She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist. Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.
Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com@GraceChatting/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting
Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish to arrange a consultation
Jan 15
As a Relationship Coach I see many people who are seeking to find a partner in the hope that it will make them happy. What I want them to understand is that, to find happiness, they need to build a good relationship with themselves first; love and esteem themselves; then they will naturally attract a partner without having to try too hard.
Here is a poem written by the great Virginia Satir. If you want to build your self-esteem, I suggest you read it every
I AM ME
by Virginia Satir
In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me - I am me and
I AM OKAY
© Virginia Satir, 1975.
Found in Virginia Satir, Self Esteem, Celestial Arts: California, 1975.
Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator. She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist. Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.
Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com/GraceChatting/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting
Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish you arrange a consultation
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