by Grace Chatting

Alan and I decided to go out to play yesterday. Every January, we head for Mount Edgecombe, where we climb up The Folly to look out over the sea and marvel at the wonder and beauty of creation together.

The Power of Two

It is a magical place, and for us has become a sacred spot where we stand in a space of infinite possibilities, very aware of the power of two people in alignment with each other, making declarations and invocations, and generally sowing the seeds of what we want to create in the coming year and beyond.

We usually thank God for each other, our life together, our children and family, friends, our clients and all the other wonderful people whose lives touch ours. Then we consider what adventures we might have together and separately in the coming year.

Yesterday was no different,( although it did seem colder to me). We wove our magic and dreams, and then feeling childlike, we decided that when we were finished we’d go to the pictures.

We agreed to see The Kings Speech, which everyone was raving about and then we’d have dinner at Frankie and Benny’s.

It’s All In The Relationship

The film was marvellous in the fullest sense of the word, and well worth a view. What I took away from it was once again the wonderful power of Relationship to bring about transformation and to overcome difficulties and challenges.as exemplified in the relationship between the  King and his speech therapist (last of a long line of them), who became his coach and therapist.

I felt validated in who I am with the people who come to talk to me, ad  valued even more the work that Alan and I do everyday as therapists and coaches, collaborating with and empowering others to bring about change and transformation in their lives.

Here is a trailer;

Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator.  She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist.  Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.

Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com@GraceChatting/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting

Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish to arrange a consultation

written by Grace

by Grace Chatting

There’s an old saying that an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure, and that is true for relationships as much as anything else.

I saw a couple this week who after a two year relationship, had recently moved in together, but things were starting to go wrong. They found themselves constantly bickering and were very distressed at what appeared to be evidence that they were not right for each other. Actually it is quite common for this to happen after the initial honeymoon period.

It turned out, as is often the case, that they were each going about doing various versions of “biting my tongue” and “keeping the peace”. Of course it was anything but peace, and they would both finish up doing the 4 Rs that Anthony Robbins talks about.

The 4 Rs

By not speaking the unspoken, a loss of attraction creeps in followed by resistance and irritation with the other person. This soon develops into resentment and ultimately rejection.

Don’t Keep The Peace!

Going about not saying anything and hoping that your partner will read your mind, simply doesn’t work and it certainly doesn’t make for peaceful living. It creates tension and irritation. Far better to develop the habit of speaking up respectfully to each other and thereby developing emotional honesty.

Here is a short video which explains:-

Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator.  She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist.  Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.

Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com@GraceChatting/  http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting

Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish to arrange a consultation

written by Grace \\ tags: marriage; relationship success; relationships; Grace Chatting; Tony Robbins;

As a Relationship Coach I  see many people who are seeking to find a partner in the hope that it will make them happy. What I want them to understand is that, to find happiness, they need to build a good relationship with themselves first; love and esteem themselves; then they will naturally attract   a partner without having to try  too hard.

Here is a poem written by the great Virginia Satir. If you want to build your self-esteem, I suggest you read it every

                                       I AM ME

                                 by Virginia Satir

In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me
Everything that comes out of me is authentically me
Because I alone chose it - I own everything about me
My body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
Whether they be to others or to myself - I own my fantasies,
My dreams, my hopes, my fears - I own all my triumphs and
Successes, all my failures and mistakes Because I own all of
Me, I can become intimately acquainted with me - by so doing
I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts - I know
There are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other
Aspects that I do not know - but as long as I am
Friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously
And hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles
And for ways to find out more about me - However I
Look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically
Me - If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought
And felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is
Unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
Which I discarded - I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do
I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be
Productive to make sense and order out of the world of
People and things outside of me - I own me, and
therefore I can engineer me - I am me and 
I AM OKAY

© Virginia Satir, 1975.
Found in Virginia Satir, Self Esteem, Celestial Arts: California, 1975.

Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator.  She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist.  Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity.

Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com/GraceChatting/ http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting

Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish you arrange a consultation

written by Grace \\ tags: relationship; happiness; Virginia Satir; Grace Chatting;; I am me; self-esteem

If you are asking yourself this question about your marriage or relationship, you are not on your own. This is the question countless people are asking themselves in the lead up to Christmas and the approach of 2011.

They will have been feeling unhappy in their relationship for some time; perhaps years, and are now thinking of ending it.

Perhaps like you, they hoped matters would improve when they had their summer holiday; it did, but not enough. Now Christmas is fast approaching and it is a very sentimental time of the year. Usually the decision to end a relationship affects a whole network of extended family and friends. It can feel very daunting to be the one to initiate a divorce or separation, knowing many others will feel upset about it, or may not understand the reasoning behind your actions.

In consideration of all this distress to yourself and others, it is easy to slip into thinking you will wait until after Christmas. As the saying goes, hope springs eternal. There is still the hope that perhaps somehow, magically, things might get better. Of course the stresses and expectations around Christmas put even more pressure on an already strained relationship.

Impasse

The lull between Christmas and New Year is a time when many of you good people feel weary with the apparent futility of the situation and don’t want yet another year of unhappiness. For most, you don’t actually want to end the marriage or relationship, you just don’t want to continue being unhappy. You quite reasonably want life to be better, but have exhausted all your efforts and don’t know what to do to change things.

When you consider leaving, you realise that there are many good things about your partner you would miss, and particularly the impact this would have on children. On the other hand with every new year that passes the situation feels increasingly intolerable.

This is the reason why there is such a peak in the number of applications for divorce in January. For the vast majority, they, and probably you, will not have considered getting professional help to resolve the relationship difficulties.

You Don’t know What You Don’t Know - Get Professional Help

Many people (perhaps you are one of them) think that if their partner isn’t willing to join them in seeing a counsellor then there is no point in pursuing the matter. They also think that just because they can’t see a solution then there can’t be one.

Have you allowed for the fact that you simply do not know what you don’t know. It is always worth spending one hour to go along to see a professional who deals specifically with Relationship issues, Here is what one client said;

"Life before Grace’s support and guidance left me feeling like I was drifting from one day to the next with a real lack of clarity and personal achievement.  Grace has encouraged a greater sense of self-awareness, self-confidence, motivation and focus to live a happier and richer life.

My marriage, and other personal relationships have been enriched through effective and positive communication skills.  Grace continues to teach me some very valuable tools to be able to listen to and support my husband and his needs, whilst at the same time not compromising myself and enabling my own needs to be fulfilled.

I am honestly not sure where I would be today if I had not had Grace’s support and guidance, but what I can say is that I now have a much clearer idea of where my life is heading and am enjoying a happy and fulfilling marriage" Tania S

Grace 

Grace Chatting, located in Plymouth, UK, is a Transformation and Relationship coach, writer, and workshop facilitator.  She is also a Family Mediator and Psychotherapist.  Her passion is empowerment arising from personal growth, integrity and authenticity. Grace can be found on her blog www.gracechatting.com; http://twitter.com@GraceChatting/  http://www.linkedin.com/in/GraceChatting http://facebook.com/GraceChatting Grace can be reached on (44) 07816491165 if you wish to arrange a consultation

written by Grace \\ tags: Marital break up; divorce; relationship problems; new year; 2011; Breakthrough To Love; Grace Chatting