Many of you may be in relationships in which you experience a chronic sense of helplessness and powerlessness, and this can affect your ability to make sound decisions and choices, and so can affect not just your quality of life, but also the very course of your life.
Living life as a dis-empowered person, you often feel like most of your life experiences are out of your control, like you are not living your own life. You allow other people or events to determine what you think, say and do; how you spend your time, and even the general direction your life takes.
But did you know that making the shift from dis-empowerment to empowerment is a simple matter of realizing that few things are truly out of your control when you exercise your right to choose?
Here are three steps for regaining and building your personal power through conscious choice:
1) Realize that you always have choices.
Although you may feel like you’re powerless in certain circumstances, this is most often a perception, not a fact. Even if you’re incapable of physically altering a situation, you at least have the power to choose your outlook, attitude and reaction to the things that happen to you.
More often when you believe you have no choices, you’re really saying that you don’t like the choices you do have. But that’s very different than not having choices at all! When you affirm that you have no options, you contribute to a sense of powerlessness that can cause you to act in destructive ways rather than seeking a more balanced solution.
2) You are not responsible for anyone else’s happiness.
True empowerment is having the strength to make the decisions that are right for you, even if others don’t always agree with them. There is a difference between working co-operatively with someone and allowing others to influence you unduly.
Most often this is done in an attempt to avoid conflict or disagreement, but it doesn’t serve you in the long run. When it comes right down to it, you are not responsible for keeping anyone happy other than yourself, and you can empower yourself to make the choices that are right for you – regardless of what others may say or think about them.
3) You are in charge of your own happiness.
Just as you are not responsible for others’ happiness, neither are they responsible for yours! Dis-empowerment can often make you believe that you are reliant on the words or actions of others for your sense of happiness and contentment, but this kind of thinking only keeps you stuck in feelings of helplessness.
Instead, use your power of choice to do what will make you happy. These decisions might relate to your work, home, relationships and more – and they may not be easy decisions to follow through on.
However, just knowing that you have to make the choices that are right for you or live forever dissatisfied is usually enough to provide the courage to affect positive change.