Feb 20

I am off to the Anthony Robbins 4 day conference at the Excel Centre in London. The promise is "Transform Your Life in a Weekend"anthony_robbins_picture , so I look forward to having some of that. The UPW is about creating breakthroughs, moving beyond fears and limiting beliefs, turning dreams into reality and creating fulfilling relationships. Wow.

 

I have been a great fan of Tony’s for a number of years now. As a Life and Relationship Coach myself, I am keen to learn from the best. It took a little while for me to get past my natural prejudice and stereotyping of big American motivational speakers. I soon realised from watching tony’s DVDs of his work with couples, along with Chloe Mandanes, what a genius the man is.

 

What I really like about Tony’s work is his urging people not to settle for less than they can be, in all aspects of their life.He points out that those who live extraordinary lives share the fundamental power of courage, not the absence of fear. The UPW gives people the opportunity to break through limitations by learning how to use unstoppable courage with a Firewalk experience on the first evening. This is meant to be a physical metaphor for overcoming your fears. I intend to do this. I guess being able to muster the ability to walk on hot coals is a handy quality to have in life!

 

The next stage of the weekend is about learning how to turn dreams into a reality, in all aspects of your life; living life with passion. Building on the Firewalk, it is about leaning how to make powerful decisions and take actions that once seemed too difficult.

 

The last day focuses on turning lethargy into vitality and energy to follow through with living a fulfilled and passionate life. I expect to be bursting with exuberance when I return!

written by Grace \\ tags: , , , , ,

Feb 18

Yesterday I went to Bristol with my good friend William (Bill) Murtagh, to hear Nobel Peace Prize winner, Mohammed Yunus speaking about microfinancing and the concept of muhammad_yunus_2006_nobel_prizeSocial Businesses. What an inspiring man! He held the audience entranced as he told his story of returning to Bangladesh in 1974 after the country had achieved independence.

He had been teaching Economics in America and thought he might be of some use to his native country. He reported feeling despondent, empty and useless when the country became engulfed by Famine. In the desperation which ensued, he noted many poor people falling victim to ruthless loan sharks. He carried out a private study and soon listed 42 victims. Upon questioning these people he found that the total of their loans amounted to a mere $27, less than a dollar a head, but they were being charged 1500% interest! He considered that this seemingly huge problem had a simple solution. He paid the $27 dollars, and immediately became an angel in their eyes. It seemed a small price to pay for the privilege, but he was more interested in resolving the entrenched problem of the peoples indebtedness to the loan sharks. It seemed to him that if you can make so many happy with so little, there should be more of it.

Yunus went to the Banks to raise the issue that the people were being ripped off by the loan sharks because the Banks would only lend money to those who already had money and collateral. He tried to persuade them to lend the very small amounts the poorest folk needed, but they would have none of it, since as well as being against their policy, they believed these peasants would not repay money lent to them. Yunus became Guarantor for their borrowings, and they did  pay the money back. The Bank said it was just a fluke that they paid back, beginners luck, just that village. They refused to change their policies. In spite of the fact that he had no experience of running a bank, Yunus decided to start his own Bank which would be different from conventional Banks in tat it would be owned by the borrowers and would be mainly for people who had no money.

 

Today the Grameen  bank has over 7 million borrowers, (mostly poor women) and 27,000 staff who go out to the people who need the Bank’s services. The people were encouraged and supported in starting small local businesses to sustain themselves. Building on this they were encouraged to form means of educating their children. Today they have more than 23,000 students in higher education. Yunus made the point that some of the children have grown up to become doctors, not because they were inherently more capable than their parents, but rather that they were given an opportunity. Yunus fiercely believes that it is Systems that create poverty. It is an artificial state.

 

He went on to explain that unlike most businesses, whose main objective is to maximise profit, a social business main purpose is to address a social need such as illiteracy, poverty, disease, rather than to make profit . The fact that there are what is known as Orphans’ diseases, was highlighted. These are illnesses for which there are cures, but these are not made available because people are too poor to be able to afford them.

 

One of the main points he made was that very small amounts of money can make a big difference to a lot of people. Unfortunately, the usual means, via Charities, uses 90% of the resources just raising the resources, and only 10% actually get to the people for whom it was intended. A lot of food for thought! I’d love to hear yours! Get more information here www.GrameenFoundation.org

 

Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: , , ,

Feb 16

Last Night, Alan and I went to see the new movie, "Bucket List", starring Jack Nicholson. Nicholson plays a character called Edward who finds himself in hospital next to Ray, played by Morgan Freeman. They both learn that they are terminally ill. As is often the case at a time like this they begin to think of all the things they have never done, experiences they never had, places they never got to see and relationships they had not mended. They make a list, before they kick the bucket, their  Bucket List, of all these things and set out to do as much as they can before they die. The rest of the movie is very entertaining as they achieve these things. Of course the moral of the story is, don’t wait until you know you are going to die before you do what your heart longs for, because none of us know how long we will live.

Sometimes, people have become so used to fitting in with the needs of other people, their parents, children and family, that they have lost sight of what they want for them selves. Gay Hendricks’ recent book,  "The Five Wishes", is also about a meeting between Gay and another man who recounted the story of his near death experience. The focus of the book is to get clear about;  if you knew you were going to die now, what five things would you wish you had done. This is not about being retrospective, regretting something you have already done and wished you hadn’t, rather it’s about something you have wanted to do and just didn’t get around to doing. It could be perhaps like Gay, getting on with committing to a loving relationship.

I made my Bucket List over twenty years ago after my first marriage ended and I have been steadily working my way through it ever since. It included doing a degree, learning to sail, having a glider flight, visiting, the Valley of the Kings and Machu Pichu in Peru amongst other places. I also dreamt of having a centre in a remote and peaceful setting in the sunshine, with fabulous views and a swimming pool, where people who felt burnt out or stuck in their lives could come to rest and receive therapy or coaching, and leave re-energised and with a clear direction about what they wanted and how they would achieve that. I made that dream come true.

The Anam Cara Centre  ( www.anamcaracentre.com ) is in Spain, in the hills near Malaga. It is an ideal place to take a retreat if you need to get away from the rat race and get your bearings. In the peace and tranquility, you to take stock of your strengths and skills and discover your Life purpose, or how to find your Soul Mate. ( Anam Cara is gaelic for soul friend, one who assists you on part of your life journey.) One of my wishes is to grow in my becoming an Anam Cara.

Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: , , , , ,

Feb 13

Feet

  Don’t head straight for the fridge or to the bedroom to change into comfortable casual wear the moment you get home. When you walk in the door, go right to your spouse and tell him or her how glad you are to see him or her. This will create a loving atmosphere for the entire evening.

Many people underestimate how valuable it is to reconnect with their spouse when they have been apart from each other all day. Every evening when you first see your spouse is a chance for an extraordinary moment. The majority of couples spend their weekdays, and some of their weekend days, apart from each other.

You have spent many hours doing activities without each other’s company. By the end of most days, you and your spouse have probably been apart for more hours than you have spent awake together. When you see each other at the end of the day, it really is a reunion. Make sure you treat it like one.

There are many things you can do to make the moment you walk through the door at the end of the day a special one:

  1. Greet each other warmly. Stop whatever activity you are doing and walk to the door to greet your spouse. It might seem trite, but the effort will make both of you feel special and taken care of.
  2. Take a few minutes to find out how your spouse’s day was. We are all extremely busy, but this small effort can make a huge difference. Instead of two strangers trying to get things done, you will be partners working together to create a warm family environment.
  3. Reconnect with your spouse after a day apart. Share a warm hug, deliver a kiss, or pour a refreshing glass of ice water or wine for him or her.

An extraordinary marriage is filled with countless meaningful moments. Every encounter with your spouse that you make special will enhance your marriage. Don’t overlook the small chances to create closeness in your relationship. Find out more here

Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: , , , , , , , ,

Feb 13

When you find yourself in a position of just starting on the dating scene, it can be a daunting experience.  There are so many unwritten rules to follow, so many pitfalls, so much effort required and for what often appears to be too little reward.  But if you’re looking for a partner, there’s probably more chance of winning the Valentine couplenational lottery than there is of the right one falling into your lap, so you’re got to overcome your fears of dating and get out there and meet people.

One of the most daunting things about dating is how to find people to date.  Get involved with a group of girls who go out socially.  From the safety of your group you’ll have the opportunity to look at any talent in the room and see if you can catch someone’s eye.  This way you’re in a win-win situation because even if you don’t find a date, you’ll still have a great time out with your friends. 

Going on a date itself can also be scary, especially a first date with a person you’ve never been out with before.  Create yourself a routine so that you know exactly how you’ll get dressed for the date, you’ll have a mental list of things to talk about, and a good idea about what you’re going to do on the date.  Keep to your formula and you’ll find that the dates start to become less of a frightening prospect.Only date people you are completely comfortable with.  If your instinct is telling you not to accept a date with someone, don’t analyse why, just make some reason why you don’t think it’s a good idea, and stick to it!  If you’re not comfortable, you’re not going to shine anyway, and your instinct is usually right so if it’s saying to keep away from this person, then you probably have even less in common with them than you originally thought! If you’ve been dating for a while, and you still have a fear of it, then you need to ask yourself why this is. 

Once you’ve been on the dating scene and know how things work, there’s no real reason to be afraid of it, and so you need to look a bit deeper because it could be that it’s not the dating that worries you, but perhaps the fact that the dating could actually work and you find a partner, and you’re not sure how that would fit into the life you currently have.   Outwardly you may want a partner, but inwardly you possibly fear how that could negatively impact the life you love now – perhaps you enjoy your independence, and not having to answer to someone else for example.  Dating is nothing to fear once you start to know how the whole dynamic of it works, so if you find you’re still have anxiety attacks after going on a few dates, then it’s time to consider if the fear is of dating, or of finding the ideal partner. If you have difficulty resolving this matter, consider engaging a Relationship Coach or a Coaching Retreat.

Grace

written by Grace \\ tags: , , , , , , , ,